oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dicks are not precious.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
