I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize