we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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