She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
