Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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