1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize