Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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