Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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