She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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