in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you traded sex for a burrito?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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