i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
