are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
