youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
