i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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