Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I understand Curling. That high.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize