my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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