Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
