it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
vagina is talking i cant
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
