walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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