Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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