I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
