How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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