I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
