I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
