you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
