im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
