Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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