Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
