Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
