I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Houston, we have a squirter
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
