i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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