He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
