I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He shit in the fireplace
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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