I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize