If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
