Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
