Me too!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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