As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
