even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
