She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
