But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
