I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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