Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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