I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
