I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
