you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
