I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize