i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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