i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
