Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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