Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
More tranny stories later!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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