I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
