There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
