I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
