So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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