My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
