I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
