Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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