He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
