He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize