someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
