Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also, beer. Big fan.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
