i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
