I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
